BE THE FRIEND YOU WANT TO HAVE

By Vernalee

FRIENDSHIP. The subject is timeless; it never grows old. So let’s examine our wish list. First things first. It is unreasonable to expect from others what you are not willing to give. That sounds hypocritical…don’t you think? So whatever attributes you desire from a friend, you should be willing to give. Agreed? Fair play? Listen up as we examine some friendship guidelines. 1. Avoid competition. 2. Avoid gossip. 3. Confront wisely. 4. Forgive. 5. Maintain friendships; treat them with care. 6. Celebrate best friends. 7. Let your friendships serve as a mirror. 8. Make changes, if needed. You are allowed. 9. Create a healthy community of friends with the reality that just because you are the nucleus that your friends may not become friends to each other. 10. Give everyone their space. 11. Explore your expectations. 12. Befriend yourself. Now I ask… Who can you confidentially talk to and get the best possible advice? Who wants you to succeed no matter what? Who will be there for you when everyone walks away? Who will be there when you are up, down or in a turnaround? Answer: A true friend. Remember this. Everyone needs someone. No one is an island. Having a true friend is valuable. True friendship doesn’t come around often. If you have one true friend, you are lucky. Two – would be a steal! When you find a true friend, keep him or her close. Don’t ask for something that you are not willing to give! Think of others; do for others. Don’t be a talker only; show that you care. Cherish being a true friend as much as having a true friend! It’s a treasure! Photo credit: www.of-the-heart.com; Source: www.crosswalk.com

BLACK WOMEN SUPERHEROES

Interesting, we don’t frequently see their portrayals, but Marvel and D.C. Comics claim that they have featured 60 Black female superheroes. I‘m not a big comic book reader (surprise, surprise), but I know our amazing strength as women.

So in that vain, I say to Iron Man, Superman, Batman & Robin, Thor, Captain America, Wolverine, Spider Man, The Incredible Hulk, Night Crawler, Cosmic Boy, The Punisher, Aqua Man, Deadpool, Luke Cage, Blade, Black Panther … look out!

Women (of all colors) are the real cape crusaders!

We are not just limited to Wonder Woman and Supergirl ...anymore!

Though criminally underrepresented in the comic books and on the movie screens, Black Female Super Heroes - Vixen, Misty Knight, and Black Widow (who coincidentally is portrayed by White actresses; just saying) are now being seen.

It appears that the comic books and the movies treat us no differently than the folks in the flesh in real life scenarios. That’s ok. Look out!

Here we come ... and we’re a force to be reckoned with - on screen, in the comic books, and in real life!

For those who think that our strength as women is limited to our sheer existence, think again! We are and have always been a force of incredible mass proportion even if the media did not give us the deserved recognition.

If you are doubtful and don’t believe the sheer facts, grab my hand and take a stroll back in history with me!

From the days of slavery, Black women maintained their mental saneness though their precious children were taken and sold. Never a stranger to hard work, heartbreak, pain, and difficulties, Black women worked in the cotton fields from sunrise to sunset; forcibly became their Master’s mistresses; nursed their children; cooked their meals; and cleaned their houses. Need I say more!

History tells the story better than me. Yes, we Black women have endured a lot! And we have courageously survived though we were not given the credit or recognized!

Through it all, we have maintained our dignity and respect. We have inherited strength to stand up for ourselves and what we believe; strength that has been passed down through the generations.

No wonder we are super-heroes! Photo reprint: Black Wonder Woman – illustrated by Anthony Pugh.

ARE YOU ON A SINKING SHIP?

Remember the Titanic? It was considered unsinkable. Figuratively speaking, a sinking ship could be a bad relationship, a dead end job, a drowning marriage, a wayward child, or any circumstance in life that may take you down. A downward path may encompass an emotional or a physical descent. If you are on or navigating a sinking ship, you basically have 3 viable survival options: You can either get off – before it hits, when it hits, or after it hits, but before it sinks. Sometimes, we are optimists and feel that we can coast and ride out the storms in our lives; life jackets or not! Our success rate sometimes cannot be predetermined or accurately predicted. When we are confronted with obstacle courses, and when and if there are opportunities to make wise decisions, we must do so! Don’t procrastinate! Time does not wait on no one and time may not be on your side! Invariably, our decisions determine our destiny. Never forget that on April 15, 1912, despite its sophistication, the RMS Titanic, on its maiden voyage from the UK to NYC sank when it collided with an iceberg! “SOS;” Don’t underestimate the reality of a situation. As the old folks say, “Be safe, not sorry; sink or swim!” Your life may depend upon it! Photo credit: The RMS Titanic courtesy of www.en.wikipedia.org