A COTTON PICKING GOOD TIME

By Vernalee

On one of our historic girl trips to Glen Allan, Mississippi, my daughter and nieces decided that they wanted to pick cotton. As we traveled Highway # One in the Delta, row after row of that snow white glistening cotton lined the road. As I took their photograph with them modeling varied striking poses, so many reflections about picking cotton came to mind. One of my Mother’s famous stories was how she picked over 300 pounds of cotton each day to pay for my oldest sister’s (Barbara’s) senior class ring. …. Things that we Mothers do for our children never cease to amaze me! In those days, picking cotton for 10-12 hours making $10.00 a day, if that, was a way of life for many Black folks. Can you Imagine that salary in exchange for a physically draining day? Yet, so many relied on the drudgery of the cotton fields to “feed their families” and to survive. So, when we complain that our padded high back desk chair is not comfortable enough, think about the toils of how our hard working ancestors worked/supported their families, and how they made everyone rich, but themselves! I become mentally exhausted …sometimes… just thinking about it! Amidst all the unrest occurring today, suddenly a radiant light shone inside my soul. I realized that there’s a message here. History! Let us never forget our ancestor’s sweaty backs, the knotty hard callouses that covered their hands, and the horrific shoulder/back pain they experienced pulling 100 pounds of cotton in a burlap sack from one end of the field to the other. Their historical cotton field days of laborious agonies were not an enjoyable memory like the photo.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR LOVE

By Vernalee

Let’s change the pace today. Let’s talk about love.

To be loved is a desired emotion for most. For sure, “It’s never too late to find love!” Play it again Sam! Though love is a sought after emotion, finding true love may be difficult as we cannot read other people’s hearts. Complacency and the fear of rejection can become front and center and even convince us that we are happy when we are walking in a sea of loneliness. Our older wax filled ears become fearful of hearing unpleasant words. It’s easy to settle. It’s just as easy to find comfort in discomfort; to give up without really trying; to convince yourself that you are happy when you know that you are not. As the saying goes, ”Everybody needs somebody!” The older you become, your desire lessens to take risks. Age does not remove the prospects and exposure to being hurt. So now what? Do you do nothing and let the unhappy days become unhappy years? Or do you seek, search, and find love? What steps should you take as you look for love gingerly? How discreet should you be? It is not realistic for you to expect to open your front door and find your Prince Charming (for ladies) or Princess (for guys) standing there waiting with opened arms. It is highly unlikely that a scenario like that will play out. Looking for love and dating can be intimidating processes at any age. For certain, they are labors of work. Another job, you don’t need! Just ask Tina. Beautiful, successful, and in the spotlight was Tina Knowles, the Mother of superstar Beyonce. Then, after 33 years of marriage, she found herself divorced and all alone. “Where am I gonna find somebody at 59 years old? Where do you meet men? Where do you get them? They’re all gone.” If Tina asked those questions, multiply those from other middle aged women by 10. But then something magical happened. She took the initiative to find love and happiness. She was reunited with a man that she had known for over three decades. Actor Richard Lawson entered the picture and the rest is history. By her wedding day in 2015, Tina’s tone had change. “To walk down the aisle and see all my friends and family and to see my handsome man standin’ there, and to know that at 61 you can still find love and have a magical day like that … it was really beautiful,” says the bride as she walked down the aisle to India Arie’s “Ready for Love.” Yes, it takes courage. It takes tenacity. It takes not settling for someone who doesn’t make you happy. Wearing your singleness on your sleeves is not necessary; declaring your availability Is. Whether widowed, divorced, etc., sharing your life with the person that you love is a beautiful thing. Companionship is great! God knew that it was not good for man to be alone, thus he created woman. Love, companionship, eternal bliss of marriage ... will never grow old. Yes, loneliness is for the lonely; it is no fun! Here’s to finding your soulmate! Don’t be left out in the cold alone (Brrr!) lonely, and without the love of your life. Besides, love and happiness will never grow old. They will remain in style for years to come! Photo credit: www.people.com (Richard and Tina).

IF THEY WERE NOT YOUR FAMILY, WOULD THEY BE YOUR FRIEND?

By Vernalee

Corporate great, Lee Iacocca once said, "If you have had 5 real friends, you have had a great life." Answer this sticky question. It's a live wire. Here goes...How many of your family members are friends and how many are "leave them where you found them” types? Ouch! Do they really get on your nerves? This brings me to another fascinating phrase that has been echoed for years. "If they were not your family, would they be your friends?” Stop! Don't shoot me I am just the messenger; specifically, the writer in this case. It takes courage to even put these words in black and white. Sure I know that I'm walking on thin ice with this post, but I did not invent the referenced phrase; neither am I here to prove its validity. I am certain that there are enough family members to test the phrase's authenticity and scientific hypothesis. Just think back to all the arguments, fights, bite your tongue moments that have occurred over the years. Here's another great one. Some family members go around prophesying in the name of Jesus, yet they haven't even spoken to some relatives in years! Sounds hypocritical to me! What do you think? Better yet, how many relatives have been at war for so long that they don't even know why they are fighting? Amazing, isn't it? Through the family's umbilical cord, some of the fights have moved into the next generation. Practice makes perfect! We do what we see! Children aren't speaking to their peer relatives because their respective parents didn't speak to each other! Oh what a tangled web we weave!

The Hatfields and McCoys are just plain neophytes compared to many noticeable family divisions and rivalries. Some relatives are blood thirsty barracudas who sucker punch each other verbally, emotionally - and have been known to engage in physical entanglements. POW! Lest not even enter the realms of those who can't stand each other's guts and make it known. Hush your mouth! Look people! Get this under control! We don't need this circulating in our midst. It's Cain and Abel like bitterness. We were warned about this problem in the Book of Genesis! Take heed! Show some love! Hatred and jealousies can start a deep penetrating and argumentative mess! The circle of this madness, disrespectful conduct, and hatred can stop with you!

The family was created by God! He knew what was good for us. We need to get with the program; before it's too late! We have to leave the scars of the past in the past. We have to dig deep inside, forgive, forget, and pray for guidance to mend that old broken down fence that has kept us apart for far too long. No one is exempted or blameless. That includes you and me! Life is too short! We are still family!

Photo credit: www.magicalquote.com