BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

By Vernalee

Why are you beating around the bush?

People tend to 'beat about the bush' when trying to avoid talking about an embarrassing or difficult topic. It can be very uncomfortable. “I get it,” but is it the best thing to do? It’s a sticky subject. Therefore, we skirt around the issue and talk about everything but the topic at hand. Of course, it’s not desirable to hurt anyone’s feeling which is the main reason that we play this game of avoidance in the first place. Who wants to bruise or injure someone’s feelings? Not me!

(I’m still trying to wrap my arms around my sensitivity about hurting people’s feelings, because it’s not a reciprocal act. There are some folks who don’t care about mine’s! Oh well!) Anyway, I am of the belief that most people don’t take pleasure in hurting someone’s feelings. It can be painful.

Eventually, what’s in the dark comes to light. The cream just like the truth always rises to the top. Sometimes playing the avoidance game doesn’t work. Admittedly, it‘s a razor thin line. We may end up hurting the person more when we don’t come clean with the truth. Finding diplomatic avenues and the right words may be the best route. Their path of improvement and correction can be achieved faster with our honesty vs. our beating around the bush by concealing the truths.  Easy said, hard to do! Sometimes, we have no choice ... when the bush eventually sheds its leaves! Photo credit: www.englishunite.com

BEING THERE FOR PEOPLE YOU LOVE

Happy Valentine's Day! Today is a day to show an outpouring of love to those special ones in our lives. Many people send roses and gourmet chocolate in heart shaped boxes to commemorate the occasion. We all love to be loved! Don‘t we? It’s a warm/lovely feeling and emotion that is comforting, soothing, and gratifying. Never underestimate the power of love. It can make you do and say things that you never imagined. Can I get a witness? Recently, I heard a pastor say that “the riches in life are not found in money or possessions, but in relationships!” Perhaps to those who idolize their bank accounts, real estate holdings, and stocks/bonds, a statement of this magnitude would hit them like a ton of bricks. It is not difficult to place our emphasis in the wrong places. Listen up! Truly, it is our relationship with God foremost and our loved ones that brings us riches! Being there for people in their time of need is one of the greatest and loving gifts that you can give. Don’t ignore them when you can help them. They may not know of your resources, but God does! When you give of your time and resources, you will receive back so much more than you gave. Be blessed in your relationships! Be blessed in your life!

Give and receive love openly and warmly from your heart. You don’t have to wait until Valentine’s Day to show expressions of love. Most definitively, it’s a year around thing! Photo credit: www.patheos.com

YOUR BUSINESS OR THEIRS

By Vernalee

If someone can discover the magic formula that will keep people out of other folks’ business, they would be extremely wealthy instantly. Why people cannot stay in their own lane is an aged old question. Finding the answer is just as ancient. It is enough work to stay on top of your issues and business without stretching yourself to wander into others. Who has the time? To help in the journey of minding your own business and not that of others, let’s turn again to the experts. Take a look. How to mind your business: “1. Try not to butt in. Some people could care less about what you’re doing or talking about. But others can’t help it. They butt in on everything; it’s natural. Work on it. 2. Ask yourself why you are butting in. Before you go interrupt someone, ask yourself: “Does this concern me?” Let the answer guide you. 3. Walk away instead of butting in. If you figure out that it doesn’t concern you at all, then walk away. 4. Become oblivious and disinterested. Your aim is to mind your business and not be judged for being unapproachable. Be cheerful and happy for others. If you feel the need to find out what they are doing, think about it first. Think before you speak. 5. If you do overhear something of note between two people, or a group of people, but the topic does not concern you or affect you in any way, then let the matter stay between the people it concerns. 6. Gauge their reaction. In order to be not misunderstood as a desperate intruder, keep to your communications limited to your business and involve yourself when invited or asked to. 7. Respect other peoples privacy. If you are not included then it suggests that they feel better without you. Try to figure out what is it that you do that makes others very uncomfortable about you.” If none of that worked, help is on the way. Try these personalized 7 tips for minding my own business. If you are still bordering the fence on whether to butt in or stay out, these tips may help if you are honest with yourself. 1. No one asked for my advice. 2. I don’t know the whole story. 3. It doesn’t affect me. 4. It’s a Secret of Adulthood: Just because something makes me happy doesn’t mean that it will make someone else happy, and vice versa. 5. Don’t gossip. 6. I’m on someone else’s turf. 7. Find explanations in clarity. Stop poking around.” So, in conclusion, how do you learn how (and when) to mind your own business? “Ask yourself these three questions: 1. Is this my business? 2. Is this someone else’s business? 3. Is this God’s business?” To mind or not to mind your own business is the question. No one can answer or do that but you! I dare you to try! Photo credit: www.michaelspencer.wordpress.com; Sources: www.wikihow.com; www.gretchenrubin.com; your tango.com