ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND?

By Vernalee

In 1984, hip hop group, Whodini had an amazing hit. It was called “Friends/How many of you have them?” The lyrics are quite deep. I invite you to listen. In this journey of friendships, we meet many people that we befriend. Some become actual friends; true stand by your side friends. Some fall by the wayside.

Time and actions never fail to identify who’s who. The statement. "the more the merrier" does not necessarily apply to friendship. It’s not the number; it's the sincerity. It is wise to be choosy. Being a good friend isn’t always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of the effort. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be one! I believe that you often attract who you are. I am blessed to have a few true friends; many of which have been around for years. They care; I care. I love them; they love me. We have laughed together, cried together, shared secrets that can never be told, and have been there for each other. Geography may in some cases separate us, but our souls remain close. Making/keeping friends is no easy task. It’s a lot of work! We all fall short and need regular tuneups.

Let’s take a look: Being Trustworthy: 1. Keep your promises. 2. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake. 3. Be honest. 4. Don’t use people. 5. Be loyal. 6. Be respectful. Being Supportive: 1. Be selfless. 2. Be a good listener. 3. Help your friends deal with their struggles. 4. Be there in a time of crisis. 5. Give thoughtful advice. 6. Give your friend some space when he/she needs it. Making your friendship last: 1. Learn to forgive. 2. Accept your friend for who he/she is. 3. Go beyond. 4. Stay in touch no matter what. 5. Let your friendship evolve. So that our friendships not suffer when we are busy, we can do the following: 1. Make a date. Get on their calendar. 2. Your phone is always with you. Use it to stay in touch - call, email, and text. 3. Make the most of your time. Get together. 4. Practice random acts of kindness. 5. Use Social media. Since friendships take work. Add these tidbits to your list. 1. Make sure they’re okay the moment you sense something wrong. … 2. Know when to be serious and when to be goofy. … 3. Go the extra mile when they ask for help. … 4. Don’t give up on them during their darkest hours. … 5. Make them feel wanted. … 6. Tell them, “I got your back,” at least once (and mean it.) Are you a good friend? Are you there for your friends? Do you care for them and love them? Are you respectful of them and their time? Are you envious and jealous of their accomplishments or happy and delighted that they succeed? What’s the answer? Don’t ask me! Ask your friends! Photo credit: www.pininterest.com; Source: www.wikihow.com; www.selfstairway.com; www.fastcompany.com

LUKEWARM PEOPLE ARE TOO HARD TO FIGURE OUT

By Vernalee

Allow me to introduce you to a group of folks defined as “lukewarm” people. You know and see them as frequently as I. Those are the ones who do just enough to get by which makes it even more complicated. Their luke warmness protects them which makes their behaviors harder to gauge. They play games so that you cannot ascertain whether they are hot or cold.

They are bare minimum and serial piecemeal specialists. Though it may be scarce, they minimally come through in a clutch.

“A little here; a little there” is their motto. Go figure! They will truly never be inconvenienced for anyone other than themselves.

Why are you so disappointed? Is it because you do more for them than they do for you? Or do you think that they could/should do more? Are you focusing too much energy and time on them?

Stop worrying about them.

Just don’t be like them! At the end of the day, whether hot, cold, or lukewarm, they will be judged on their deeds just as you!

Touché! Photo credit: www.the politicalcarnival.net

WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?

By Vernalee

Crossing racial, gender, and socio-economics lines, I call a selected few my true friends. They are my friends not for how they look or what they have, but for the genuine relationship that we share.

It is said that you basically need five types of friends. Without calling my friends by name, let me provide you with their descriptions. The comedian is the friend who makes you laugh and interjects humor into your life. The risk taker is the adventurer who stimulates you beyond the status quo. The loyalist will stand by your side through thick and thin no matter what. The challenger always encourages you to maximize your position. The life coach is the friend who you can talk to about anything without judgment being passed. A few of my friends have amazingly combined these five ingredients into one. From Mississippi to Ohio with an extension into multiple other states, I am truly blessed as I have these wonderful loving people in my life. Their professions are too multiple to outline. Regardless of what they do on their day jobs or if they don't work at all, I believe that they sincerely care about me as I care about them! We genuinely want the best for each other and do not begrudge the other. Encouragement is in; jealously is out. Love flows in all direction as does our advice. I made a basic discovery years ago – The type of friend that you are is just as important as the type of friend that you have! Like a magnet, you attract what you are! It is my responsibility to be there for them as they are for me. The measurement stick has been removed. We just do! It is a two way street. It is what friends do! Photo credit: www.gettyimages.com