GOOD COP/BAD COP

By Vernalee

The “good cop bad cop” phrase references a commonly used interrogation technique in which one cop appears to side with the accused and another remains firm and uncompromising. The concept extends to other settings where two people (who are actually not cops) use a similar ploy that plays upon one’s emotional psyche to achieve their purposes and defined results. The goal is to position your thinking into a belief that of the two individuals, one of them is empathetic and compassionate toward your predicament and is on your side. It’s a game of influence and trickery designed to achieve their objective. So if you ever become prey to the cop that you perceive to be “good,” just remember that you are feeding information to the bad cop as well. Basically, who you perceived to be “good” is really not! Their chameleon ploy made you putty in both of their hands. In other words, you have been “had,” “bamboozled,“ and “played!” If you think that you have never been in that situation; think again; think hard; think back! People frequently and effectively use this technique to obtain desired information and results. The “gang up” on you tactic is purposed to sway you to provide information that they otherwise may not have been able to obtain. Sadly, the good cop is usually someone that you thought that you could trust. Ouch! They achieved their results; you were left “hanging” in the sling! You may not have seen it coming, but if and when your information is out – there is no taking it back ...! Photo credit: www.zdnet.com

ALONE IN A CROWD

By Vernalee

Feeling lonely in a crowd is nothing new. Many have felt the isolation. Worse than being alone is expecting the presence of someone who should be by your side, but they are no where to be found! Being a "crowd pleaser" is in many respects no longer vogue. The man who follows the crowd will not get any farther than the crowd. So what’s the catch? Is it better to be lonely alone than to be lonely in a crowd? It takes nothing to stand in a crowd. It takes a lot to stand alone. Do you really need people who magically disappear like Harry Houdini? What they do is just enough to be politically correct but not enough to be emotionally supportive.

Are your expectations wishful thinking or reality based? Stop! Don’t answer! And please don’t have a pity party. Stop exaggerating others’ worth when it’s not visible. Get with the program of knowing who’s who and who is not (in your life). The chameleons show up regularly and without notice. But is an appointment necessary for disappointments? Eventually, you’ll wise up. You will discover the folks who talk out of both sides of their mouth very elegantly. You will know exactly where you stand, where they stand, and how close their proximity is to yours? If during the process, you suffer from bouts of loneliness, hopefully you will eventually come to the greatest understanding in your life; a visibility that unlocks the mystery door. You’ll never alone as long as you have the Lord! Photo credit: www.youtube.com

STOP LOOKING AT OTHERS. GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER

By Vernalee

Thriving business; fantastic career; big house; new car; extravagant jewelry/clothes, lavish vacations …..all are sought after forms of materialism! Sounds good! Oh yes! But what happens to your psyche when someone has more of them than you? Are you truly happy for them or are you jealous? Do you really like to see people do good or do you resent it particularly when they are doing better than you? You don’t have to answer. Your conduct will reveal the truth; it’s very telling. It puts more visible definition to you than you think! Either you will show happiness, delight, joy, regret, envy, or resentment …. when you observe others’ success. If you are resentful, you wallow in your own misery. Stop becoming so wrapped up in others. Don’t become trapped in someone else’s glory; enjoy the splendor of your own. Stay focused on mapping your path! I’m sorry! If there is still a noticeable twinge of jealousy and abundant envy circulating in your space, unfortunately you have not arrived. Jealousy is not a good utilization of your time. You end up spending more time on others – than yourself! What a waste! Get out of the equalization mode and realize/achieve your greatness! Remember looks are deceiving. What you see externally may not be reflective of what lies inside. Work hard so that you too can have your deserved portion. Realign your priorities and thinking! Put your time to good use! The time that you spend looking at other folks’ stuff … could be better utilized toward acquiring your own! Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses! Don’t worry (about theirs); be happy (about yours)! Photo credit: www.4.bp.blogspot.com