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  • Vernalee


I have heard it more than once; hundreds of times to be exact. “Black women raise their daughters and love their sons.” There are statistics that are used to add credence of sorts. It is felt that the hardest thing in the world is to be a Black man. They are singled out and jailed more than any. Some feel that Black Mothers from the days of slavery empathized with the boy child because of the blatant and abusive cruelty that he suffered and in her attempt to shield him, (remember Willie Lynch) the parenting slacked. No Mother wants to see harm come to her children to prove a point or appease another’s ego. The White masters tortured male slaves before their Black Mothers’ eyes. Naturally, this had an impact when the choices were either submission or be tortured, killed, or sold. The hands of slavery were not kind to our daughters either. The color shades of our race today bear witness to that fact. What cruelty! Such a tragedy! The remnants of our past lies in our modern souls. Mothers are nurturing. We are taught to love, guide, and protect our little ones. Bringing this up to modern times, I question this hypothesis – of loving our sons raising our daughters – as it relates to me. As I am a Mother of two adult children – a son and a daughter, I have always valued my role. Being called “Mommy” is the best title ever! I can become so enamored hearing the word “Mommy” that goose bumps appear sometimes. I am honored to be a Mother of two wonderful, loving, adorable kids. Am I boasting? Of course, I am! Anyway, I feel that I reared and love them the same. Of course, that is me; judging myself. Right? I disciplined them equally; rewarded them similarly; showered them with mountainous love and affection. Both were taught to love the Lord, respect authority / people, honor their elders, be caring, and all of the other southern rudimentary guidance / direction that I passed along pertaining to character, values, leadership, morals, responsibility, etc. As Mothers, we want our sons to respect and love the women in their lives and not abuse their authority. We want our sons to be good Fathers. Their leadership is important. It is no different for our daughters. We want them to be loving and respectful. We do not want them to be abused or disrespected as women. The key to success is for men to treat women as they would want someone to treat their Mother, sisters, or daughters. Bingo! As parents, we only hope and pray that our foundation was as solid as a rock and that they will remember the lessons taught. In raising and loving both of my now big little ones, I trust that they will continue to be good responsible people. When they go from our laps to our hearts, we pray that God’s grace and protection will travel with them and shield them. When our little boys and girls become adult men and women respectively, we can only hope that they will cushion the lessons of the heart. We want good children – sons and daughters. What a blessing they are and their goodness is! “Job well done” is music to our ears as parents! Photo credit:

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29 de jan. de 2023


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