JUST FEED 'EM WITH A LONG-HANDLED SPOON

By Vernalee

I found myself telling my niece something this week that went way, way back to my days growing up on a graveled paved road lined with dirt ditches now called Spencer Street (it was unnamed when I lived there). It was one of those throw back phrases that I often heard the old women say. "Girl, just feed 'em with a long handled spoon." Of course as a young girl, I had no idea what that meant!

This saying - "simply means to respect people, but not to get too close to them especially if they have hurt you in some way in the past. While you treat them how you would like to be treated, you still cast an eye behind your back and make sure they don't hurt you again."

Back then, my friends and I constantly laughed at their talking about the incidents of their life. We thought that none of that stuff would ever happen to us. We were too smart or so we thought. We always said,” Those old folks are just trying to get into our business. They don’t know what they are talking about.”

Age brings about a change. We grew to “eat our words.” Those women were wise beyond years. They had "walked their talk!”

They also told us, “Jes keep on a living and when life smacks ya in the face, y‘all will understand what we are trying to tell ya!”

Were they ever right!

I can see them now sitting on their porches (some drinking lemonade and others in all honesty drinking a shot of strong Old Forester whiskey straight without a chaser). I can hear them talking stuff as we youngsters walked by without a care in the world.

” Read my lips. I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. Follow this here advice that I’m giving ya and it'll sho keep ya outta trouble."

To my elders, I now say this. “It took some years for your words to sink in and penetrate my soul. Do know that I heard you then and I still remember your words of old. Sure, I did stuff my way. I trusted people that I should not have. I walked in the wrong direction. I made mistakes along the way. I failed to realize that you had walk my path before. You knew the road - all the sink holes, curves, and turns. I was too naive to realize that at the time. Now, i call it - The silliness of my youth. Strangely, after many years, your words took root. Admittedly, it took a while. Sometimes, that happens when we get book smart and think we know it all. Nowadays, your words (even with the broken English) are not funny anymore. I did listen back then. I took heed and remembered some of the life lessons that were taught. I wish that I had paid more attention, but I'm on point now. You would be proud of me because I just used that long handled spoon!” I now know that some people do not deserve to be in our midst. It took me years to find that out, but better late than never! I thank you for your sage wisdom. As you said years ago, "there is nothing new under the sun!"

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